Laughing-stock(jokes)!

(1)
Coverage!
A: See, of late, this news paper has decreased it's coverage but increased it's price.
B:I don't think so.
A: Earlier with a day's paper I could cover all the shelves of my almirah but now I can't
(2)
Manhole!
A: How is your sister?
B: Awfully bad! She's fallen into a manhole.
A: What? Is she still there?
B: Yes,I mean she's fallen in love with a very bad guy!
(3)
Capitation fees!
Guardian: Sir, how much capitation fees am I to pay for admission of my child?
Headmaster: Rs.30, 000.0 only.
Guardian: Sir, it's too high, why don't you call it decapitation fees?
(4)
Marriage registration!
Sardarji was minutely reading his marriage registration certificate.’ What are you looking for in the certificate?’, asked his wife.’ Expiry date, my darling’, replied Sardarji.
(5)
Bookshelf!
'Can't you have a bookshelf?’, asked a man pointing at the books lying scattered on the floor in Mark Twain's room.
'I can't have the bookshelf the way I've had the books’, quipped Twain.