Railway Budget-2010

Railway budget seems to be a multifaceted or many-in-one budget, aiming at catering to the need of all sections of people. Railway has not only confined itself to running of trains which is supposed to be its primary concern, it’s also shown concern for health, education, research, industries and what not. In that sense it’s a departure from budgets presented by her predecessors. The budget’s basketful of proposals for Bengal, which might rue people of other states. But traditionally the state the railway minister belongs to bags larger share of budget proposals.However, this time the allotment might look disproportionately large for Bengal but Didi had no option but to do so considering assembly poll in 2011.What’s interesting, budget has incorporated many proposals which depend on participation of corporate houses and in the event the private sectors find no interest in such projects, they are likely not to see the light of the day.However,let us hope for the best and wish the budget all success!

Didi's Dilemma

Whom Maoists in Bengal have most harassed and embarrassed is our Didi.She’s yet to decide which stance regarding the Maoists would suit her best and prove rewarding. She makes different comments at different times on this issue. To start with she said there were no maoists in the state. Next she remarked there were no difference between Maoists and Marxists(CPM) and in fact, they were two sides of the same coin. When asked if Maoists and CPM were the same then why the former killed the latter almost daily, she failed to offer any satisfactory answer. For some time she harped on her demand to withdraw joint forces from Junglemahal,but when she found that her demand fell on the deaf ear of Center which had already declared Maoists were the biggest internal threat to our country, she budged from her stand.Then she hardened her stance and challenged the Maoists to come out of their hideouts and faced her if they’d that courage. She also called upon the Center to deploy military force to tackle Maoists’ problem. But in a few days she switched over to persuasive mood and appealed to them to abjure violence ,open dialogue with the govt and join main stream politics.She even offered to mediate if they so liked.However,it cut no ice. Now she feels jittery over her rebel MP Kabir Suman who’s determined to display black flag before Parliament House demanding Center not to launch proposed Operation Green Hunt and withdraw joint forces from Jangalmahal, which was initially Didi’s demand too. Now has come Maoists’ proposal for 72 days’ cease fire in response to P.Chidambaram’s 72 hours’ suspension of violent activities by Maoists.However,Didi is yet to react to such proposal. Let us see how she reacts!

Divine(Jokes)!

(1)Divine!
Dad: To do wrong is human and to forgive and forget
are divine!
Son: Then why do you still chide me for my negligence
in studies way back in my school days?
Dad: Forgive and forget!

(2) Don!
Teacher: Have you read Quiet Flows The Don?
Student: I’ve not read it but perhaps seen its cinema
version, sir.
Teacher: Really! But where?
Student: In Big B’s and Shah Rukh Khan’s Don, but
here Don has been shown turbulent!

(3)Bengal Politics!
A: See, Buddha-proposes-and-Mamata-opposes is the main theme
of politics in West Bengal.
B: But why is it so?
A: Very simple! It’s not right age for Buddha to propose or Mamata
to accept. So is this opposition!

Operation Green Hunt

After carnage perpetrated by Maoists at Silda camp at Jangalmahal in West Midnapore P.Chidambaram has apparently softened his stand and asked the Maoist to abjure violence for 72 hrs and come to the negotiation table. What’s interesting, this time limit rather stands vague as no body knows when it starts and naturally when it’d end. In fact, he buys time before launching Operation Green Hunt. He’s not confident of the success of this Operation either because of the soft attitudes of Shibu Soren and Nitish Kumar towards the Maoists as was conspicuous by their absence in the last meeting on this issue held in West Bengal. He’s aware unless there arrives a consensus among the CMs of the participant states about this operation, it’s unlikely to yield desired result. So he’s again decided to sit over the issue particularly with the truant CMs and called upon them to meet once again. Now, it remains to be seen if they react earnestly to such call or skip the meeting as they deliberately did earlier. Fate of the proposed Operation perhaps depends on them.

Begging(jokes)!

(1)Begging!
Man: Why do you beg?
Beggar: Do you think it’s no work? I work harder than
you and longer than an IT professional! Pay me not but
don’t belittle my profession.

(2)Life and death!
A: Death is dearer than life.
B : Why?
A: When my father died in a corporate hospital, I’d to
cough up a hefty amount that my father had never earned
in life.

(3)Cream cracker!
Buyer: Give me a pack of Cream cracker biscuit.
Seller: Here it is.
Buyer: It has ‘Sugar free’ written on it.
Seller: Yes.
Buyer: Then where is 'free sugar' as gift?

Caught Pathetically Unaware!

The EFR jwans of Silda camp at Jangalmahal were almost literally caught napping by the Maoists. They were supposed to be in leisurely mood and passing time in relaxed frame of mind in Maoists’ den and had to pay dearly for their foolishness. They couldn’t even put up a semblance of resistance in the face of sudden Maoists’ attack and pathetically fell prey to their bullets. Had these jawans who are normally groomed through rigorous training that cost enough of public exchequer sacrificed their lives in their fight against the enemy force of a foreign nation their deaths could have been condoled as martyrs' deaths, but in the present case such loss of precious lives can even fail to draw public sympathy because of their unpardonable neglect and indifference.In fact,their deaths evoke more shame than sorrow. People might lose faith in such security forces' ability or preparedness to combat any terrorist attack like that of 26/11.May be, there were lapses on the part of the intelligence network ,but nevertheless it can’t be imagined that they’d be caught unaware by the Maoists in such ignominious way!

Liar(Jokes)!

(1)Liar!
A: He’s a habitual liar.
B: Better say, he’s a spontaneous liar.
A: Why ?
B: Because habit is the second nature
and any natural process is spontaneous.

(2)Good, Bad and Ugly!
Good: He spent a lot of money for his son’s
education.
Bad: He spent beyond his means!
Ugly: Now he’s to depend on dollars sent by
his son.

(3)Service charge!
Beggar: I don’t beg money, I ask for service charge
only.
Man: What for?
Beggar: For praying to God for your well being!
Man: Why don’t you pray for you?
Beggar: I do nothing free of charge!

Rural Medical Service

Earlier a move to launch 3-yr diploma course for rural health service met with scathing criticism from medical fraternity on ground of discrimination going to be made between rural and urban population in respect of health services offered to them. Country folk would be treated by quack while their city counterparts by qualified doctors, they argued. In fact, village people hardly get any treatment worth the name, let alone they get the opportunity to be treated by the proposed diploma holders whom they call quack and that too because qualified doctors are reluctant to serve in villages despite incentives. Any way, state govt’s plan for launching medical diploma fizzled out.However,what’s heartening, in its place something better has come up for rural populace. Decision to introduce 4-yr graduate course(MRBS) for rural medical service has been taken and it’s been ratified by Indian Medical Council. Certainly, it’s a welcome move and good days are in the offing for village people after long suffering and deprivation. So we hope for the best. However, only to sort out the problem of availability of qualified doctors won’t do, supply of medicine and other necessary medical facilities to the rural medical centers must be ensured to do justice to rural people.

Nursing Home(jokes)!

(1)Nursing home!
Patient: Cost of treatment at your nursing home is
too high!
Superintendent: Not at all! Here we take no risk and admit all patients into ICU.That apart, our package includes funeral cost too.

(2)Menu card!
A: Why are menu cards served at dinner party?
B: Because guests can chalk out eating plan and
check over if all prepared items have been duly served.

(3)Beggars!
A: They say beggars can’t be choosers! Do you agree to it?
B: Of course not!
A: Why?
B: Because a beggar has every right to choose whom to
beg of and what to beg for!

Letter to Editor,TOI

Dear Sir,
The mammoth Brigade rally(Feb7) can't be attributed to 'Basu Aura' only as you claim.Partially it might be true but essentially it was due to subsidence of 'wind of change' that kept blowing hard before LS poll.The more people see the activities of TMC, the more they get disillusioned.Now they fear if TMC comes to power they might fall from frying pan to fire.Didi's mercurial temperament, authoritarian mindset and above all a loosely knit organisation as TMC is, might not deliver goods to the state, people have started thinking.However, it's our ill luck that we are yet to get an opposition in which we can repose faith for handing over power of governance.An inordinately long stay in power is apt to plague any political party, whoever they are ,with corruption and many other vices as are evident in the LF Govt.

Toilet(jokes)!

(1)Toilet!
A: Toilets here are spotlessly clean. But unfortunately I
couldn’t use any of them!
B: Why?
A: Whenever I tried to enter one, I found a sweeper
cleaning it with scrubber.

(2) Bathroom!
A: You’ve so big a house but why is the bathroom so small?
B: See, small is not only beautiful, it’s safe and secure too!
A: How?
B: In bathrooms many people slip and fall. But here you might slip but won’t fall.

(3)Longevity!
Son: Dad, in USA average longevity is 75.
Father: Yes, my son.
Son :There fire arms are freely available and it’s no crime to
to carry them.
Father: Yes, my son.
Son: Then how can an American live so long?
Father: I don’t know , my son!

Sena's threat to SRK

Shah Rukh Khan should firmly stand by what he’s said about participation of Pakistani players in IPL even in the face of Shiv Sena’s delirious utterances and flexing of muscle. He should not soften his stance a little what may come. May be, due to Sena’s anti social activities his films might suffer commercially in Mumbai, still he should not relent as this party which has no mission other than spewing and spreading hatred against others and create disunity and distrust among people deserves to be taught a hard lesson. This is not the first time Sena behaves in this barbaric way, it’s track record is full of uncivilized activities in civilized society. Now it’s high time to mobilize public opinion in favour of banning such a party which constitutes a dangerous threat to our national unity.

May Day(jokes)!

(1)May Day!
Son: Dad, what’s the significance of May Day?
Dad : On May Day workers won their battle for
shorter working hours in America.
Son: Why have the IT professionals here
to stay so long in office ?
Dad: As it’s not America!

(2)Success!
A : Doc, you’re in jovial mood today!
Doc: Yes, I’ve operated upon a patient and he’s survived.
A: Definitely, he was a critical patient and operation was
difficult!
Doc: No, it’s my first-ever success!

(3) Job satisfaction!
A: Have you got job satisfaction?
B: Yes, of course!
A: Really, you’re among the lucky few! But where lies
the secret of your satisfaction?
A: Simple! In my job speed money far exceeds my salary!

A perverse demand!

Shiv Sena is well aware that their demand ‘Mumbai is for Maharashtrian only’ has few takers except some hardcore irrational parochial followers of their own party. It’s their ploy to draw attention of others as they’ve no issue at hand at present. In fact, every inch of Mumbai and for that matter any part of our country belongs to an Indian living in any other part.There’re divisive forces who’re already operative making all-out efforts to fragment India on the basis of religious, cultural and ethnic differences. With these evil elements join Shiv Sena with their perverse and pernicious design to go in for further dissection. So any sensible man must out right condemn in no uncertain terms Sena’s crude outburst of provincialism that’s prejudicial to the very unity and integrity of our nation.

PIL(jokes)!

PIL(jokes)!
(1)Girl child!
A: Why do you like to be father of a girl child?
B: To avoid jail custody!
A: Jail custody?
A: Yes, if I’ve a son, my daughter-in-law might file 498A and you know it’s consequence!

(2)Personality!
Employee: Sir, you’ve a magnetic personality. You can attract people by this rare quality.
Boss: Do you like to see I can repel people too?
Employee: No, sir!
Boss: Why not? Don’t you know repulsion is the surer test of magnetism?

(3)PIL!
A: They’ve filed a PIL against me.
B: Why?
A: As I practice singing early morning!
B: What’s wrong in it?
A: Babies cry and elderly people fear cardiac arrest, they contend.