Chhatradhar Mahato's Arrest!

There was a persistent demand from all sections of people, barring a few human right activists and a handful of intellectuals, for arrest of Chhatradhar Mahato. Mahato had had a free run at Lalgarh before joint forces could enter there.Lalgarh was then reduced to a free zone where there was no administration and police even dared not stir out of police stations. He took advantage of people’s poverty and lack of development in this area. After joint forces entered Lalgarh, his mass organization PCPA kept a low profile for some time but again started it’s activities in full swing . Mahato denied any relation with maoists and claimed PCPA an independent organization but, infact, it enjoys the full support of maoists.
Now Mahato’s arrest has triggered protest from human right activists as well as from a section of journalists. The former claims the way arrest was made, legal norms laid down by Supreme court were violated and the latter say it was unethical for police to nab one in guise of a journalist. Any way, Mahato’s arrest is a setback for PCPA.Let us see what happens in days to come!

Beggar(jokes)!

(1)Beggar!
Lady: You’re begging but you don’t look like a beggar. You rather look healthy and well fed!
Beggar: Madam, I won’t look sickly and under fed even if I like to!Beggars can’t be choosers!
(2)Marriage Proposal!
Man: My corepati widower dad likes you very much! I’m his only child. He’ll be happy if you marry me.
Woman: Sorry, I’ve already married your dad to make him happier!
(3)Stickler of grammar!
As a teacher of English, he was a stickler of grammar, particularly of punctuation. So when he died he first slipped into coma(comma) and then came the full stop in his life!
(4)Good Samaritan!
In a sunny winter morning an old man was lying on the road side. A passer-by asked him,’ How can I help you?’.'You can help me by simply not standing in between me and the sun’, replied the old man.

Vijaya!

Today’s Vijaya Dashami! We bid farewell to Ma Durga with a heavy heart! She’ll be back to her father-in-law’s house at Kailash .We’ll go back to our workaday life! A pall of gloom has descended all over!
Though today’s a sad day, it’s a day of rejoicing too! On this very day Rama killed Ravana-an embodiment of evil forces.So the day marks the triumph of good over evil. It’s a day of victory celebration!
On this auspicious occasion of Vijaya Dashami,I take the privilege to
extend my heartiest greetings to one and all!

Nightmarish Experience!

The way a host of girl students of Jogmaya devi college, kolkata, on their way back home from educational tour in Gurudev Express, were outrageously treated initially by drunken passengers and then by RPF men, has laid bare how unsafe is railway travel, particularly for women.Perhaps,this nightmarish incident would haunt the victims through out their lives. Their guardians too would never forget anxieties and agonies they helplessly suffered when they came to learn the awful plight of their daughters in moving train. Now guardians would perhaps think twice before sending their daughters on educational tour, though it’s part of the curriculam.However, public is yet to know what action railway authorities have taken against those offending security personnel and the passengers who misbehaved with the students or they are engaged in blame game-one department passing buck to another! Nor has the railway minister who’s supposed to have zero tolerance in such incidents yet reacted with vehemence as expected.

Durga Puja(jokes)

(1)Theme Puja!
A: This year our theme is Aila ravaged Sunderban.
See over there minister’s distributing relief materials
among the victims.
B: Wonderful! Everything has been so lively! But
where’s Ma Durga ?
A: Don’t be so silly. It’s theme puja!
(2)Joint venture!
A: Here I see the idol of Ma Durga only. Where’s
your pandal ?
B:Don’t worry, our idol’s water proof! You’ll find our pandal in the next para as ours is a joint venture puja-a new theme!
(3)Divine act!
‘See Ma Durga’s one leg is distinctly much longer than the other! It must be idol maker’s fault!’, one pandal hopper told the other.’No.It’s divine act. Ma can make one leg longer than the other if She so likes’, added a puja organizer perhaps in drunken state!
.

Sour relation!

Perhaps in no other state in India so strained is the relation between ruling party and the main opposition as it’s in West Bengal! Perhaps in no other state ruling party is so despised by the chief opposition! The hatred is to such an awful extent that its supremo is not in speaking terms with the chief minister and skips any all-party meet convened by him on any occasion, however important it may be, almost with religious righteousness. Other members of the party are so strictly instructed that they can’t even share a dais with any member of the ruling party. In case by mistake or perchance such a situation arises, one must immediately make amends, may it appear very odd or indecent.
Such a state of affairs is extremely unfortunate but it’s a reality. It stands in the way of development, whatsoever. Unless opposition helps the govt, state can’t progress. In healthy democratic set-up opposition should embark upon constructive criticism and resist govt from doing anything wrong. It must make people aware of administrative lapses and has dialogue with the govt to sort out those shortcomings.It’s our bad luck the present situation is far from ideal and perhaps it’ll spell doom for the state!

Smile again(jokes)!

(1)Life after death, again!
Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: Definitely not!
Boss:Then,how did your uncle, for whose death
you could not come to office last week, meet me
to day morning?
(2)Warm motherly care!
A: Did you enjoy warm motherly care as claimed
by the private Airline?
B:Yes,it was sufficiently warm inside as most of the
AC machines were out of order and got motherly care
as airhostesses were more or less of mother’s age!
(3)Make one laugh!
Teacher: What makes you laugh?
Student: It’s you, sir!
Teacher: It’s me?
Student: Yes sir. How do you think I dare laugh in your
Class?
(4)Birthday bash!
On the 95th birthday of a man a youth said,” Hope,I’d attend your birth centenary too”.” Don’t say so, young man!Why do you think you won't live that long?.”, replied the old man.

Austerity

Austerity drive taken by union govt has had hardly any impact on masses.Image of political personalities in our country is generally very poor. India is the largest democracy in the world and here transfer of power from one political group to another takes place smoothly and peacefully unlike our neighboring countries. Ours is a democracy that is based on solid foundation and democratic values are deep rooted in our people’s psyche. But unfortunately, we’re as proud of our political system as we’re disgruntled with our politicians We always question their honesty and integrity and even 'politics' is sometimes used as a dirty word.However,in general corruption is now part and parcel of our life. Corrupt practices are not only confined to high places but they’re very common in every walk of life. So public look upon so called austerity measures adopted by govt as a ploy to divert their attention from serious issues like unprecedented price rise and drought. In other words the austerity move is nothing but unmitigated hypocrisy to hoodwink people!
.

So goes life(jokes)!

(1)Morning walk!
Son:Dad,don’t go in for morning walk on high ways.
Dad: Are you worried that I might be run over?
Son: Of course! But I’m more worried about something else.
Dad: What’s that?
Son: So early in the morning there’ll be fewer people to block the road in protest,in case you are run over!
(2)A bizarre ad!
An ad of a ceiling fan reads: The fan’s so built, apart from
giving you cool breeze it ensures you cent percent success in your attempt to commit suicide by hanging from any of it’s blades!
(3)Life after death!
Publication of Life magazine was stopped for a long time. But when it was published again a reader quipped,’Who says there’s no life
after death?’
(3) Praying for other’s life!
While jumping to death from a highrise a Sumo wrestler cried out,“May God save the man I’m going to land on”.

Fate of freight corridor!

In a remarkably short span of time Railway minister Mamata Banerjee has introduced a large number of trains, though mostly in Bengal, as promised in her budget.Perhaps,Bengal is given priority for political reasons keeping in mind assembly election in 2011.While making hurried implementation of her electoral promises, she’s subjected to adverse criticism from different circles, particularly from her political opponents. She’s alleged to have compromised on safety and security of railway travels. She’s also accused of making mess of spick and span metro services by prematurely opening the service on the extra stretch.
However, introduction of new trains or furtherance of passengers’ amenities can be done without hitch if railways so desire.But development of railway network by its territorial expansion would prove extremely difficult, if not impossible, for Mamata Banerjee as procurement of land based on her principle primarily envisages under no circumstances land can be acquired without consent of its owner and no cultivable land can be acquired. It’s highly improbable owners en bloc would give consent for acquisition of a long tract of land as in case of proposed freight corridor up to Dunkuni.In such cases, Mamata Banerjee’s land deal formula is put to acid test and it’s very likely such projects would never take off unless she changes her stance in land acquisition!

Other way round(jokes)!

(1)Good, bad and ugly!
Good: To spend somebody else’s money!
Bad: To spend one’s own money!
Ugly: To have one’s own money spent by somebody else!
(2)Rolling stone!
Patient:Doc,of late, I’ve gained much weight.
Doctor: Be always on the move. Don’t you know rolling
stone gathers no mass?
(3)Company!
A: Do you know I work in a reputed company?
B: Oh, it goes without saying!
A: Why?
B: Because a company’s known by the man it keeps!
(4)Highhandedness!
A:I don’t like his highhandedness!
B:He’s a decent man. He can’t be highhanded.
A: Then why does he raise his hand in every matter?

Private Tuition!

West Bengal government has conducted a survey on private tuitions at school levels.Survey reveals, as expected, private tuitions have proved indispensable to the students. In fact, students can’t think of going in for examinations without taking private coaching. Even the toppers admit they’ve taken tuitions in each and every subject and sometimes they’ve engaged more than one tutors in some subject. Pupils say tuition’s necessary for better understanding of the subject that help them make better performance in examinations. Guardians too don’t grudge spending on private tuitions to the best of their financial ability. Sometimes, they spend as much as 20% of their total monthly income.
The revelation’s sad but true. It’s sad because it puts a big question mark on the role of educational institutions vis-à-vis this parallel education or private tuitions. Salaries of teachers and non teaching staff have considerably increased, so now cores of rupees are spent to run these institions.That apart, students have scanty regard for teaching in schools as they have private tutors to bank upon. Perhaps, besides providing employments, these institutions have no significant role to play. Now things have come to such a pass, the present trend can in no way be reversed to make students more dependent on teaching in schools than on private tuitions. So government is likely to wash its hands of this matter and let the situation drift in its own course!

Puzzle(jokes)!

(1)Chance to win!
A: In a competitive feat the earlier you lag behind the better is your chance to
win.
B:Why?
A: Because you’ll have more time to catch up with others!
(2)Sanity!
A: You’re intelligent enough to realize that you’re a fool!
B:Are you not quite sane to feel that you’re insane?
(3)Homesick!
A: You always say you’re homesick but you seldom go home!
B :In fact, I’m sick of home!
(4)Looking down!
A: He looks down upon me!
B:Why? Have you done him wrong?
A:No.He’s much taller than me!
(5)Higher studies!
A: Travels help me in higher studies!
B:How?
A: Whenever I travel I keep reading books.
B:How is it related with higher studies?
A: Whenever I travel, I travel by air!

Siliguri Corporation Election!

LF’s losing spree, that started in a big way ever since LS polls, is continuing unabated. Now it’s fared badly in Siliguri Corporation election too. It’s bagged only 17 seats out of 47.Cong and TMC combine will form the board.However,it’s no denying the fact L.F govt has done a lot for the development of Siliguri.It’s now the second most important commercial hub next to Kolkata.Those who were in Siliguri in early seventies would feel if it were the place they once stayed! Such is the change the place’s undergone in couple of years. True, compared with other places development of Siliguri is remarkably noticeable but there’re essential areas like domestic water supply, under ground sewerage system etc that demand proper attention and implementation.Any way, development issue is unlikely to attribute to LF’s poll debacle.Perhaps what has played the pivotal role is anti-incumbency factor coupled with the wind of change now blowing across the state.Interestingly,corporation seats are now almost equally shared by TMC, Congress and CPM!

Different Strokes(jokes)!

(1)V-day stroke!
On V-day to show his friends that he too has a girl friend
the boy waved his hand at an unknown girl who was standing
on a verandah.The girl flew into rage and showed the boy her
chappal.'Why is your girl friend showing you her shoe?
enquired his friends.'She's asking me to wait at a near-by shoe store'
retorted the boy unashamed.
(2)Half drunk!
Wife: Shame on you, you’ve come home half-drunk at midnight!
Husband: Excuse me, darling, I ran short of money.
(3)Childish!
Child: Mom, I offered a lady to sit in my place in a crowded bus.
Mom: You did right, my son. I’m proud of you.
Child: But the lady became very angry with me.
Mom: Shame on her! But why did she get so angry?
Child: I can’t say, I was seated on father’s lap!
(4)Match fixing!
Father: Can you tell my son what’s meant by match fixing?
Son: Yes dad. It means selecting a bride or groom.
(5)For a working Bride!
An ad in a matrimonial column of a news paper reads: A man is in
need of a woman in deed.

Sachin's hero,Sourav a tragic hero!

India defeated Sri Lanka and won Compaq cup tri-series.Sachin’s magic continues. He’s made his 44th tons in ODIs.Perhaps, he’s many more tons in store in days to come,may it be half century of centuries, if not more. After all,Sachin’s Sachin.He’s no parallel!
Of trio Sachin-Sourav-Rahul,who’re more or less of same age,Sachin’s a living legend, Sourav a tragic hero and Rahul deserves no special mention apart from being an excellent cricketer.Sourav’s the most shabbily treated cricketer the cricket world has ever seen. Again, he’ll be remembered for all time to come for his legendary come-back.In that sense he too claims to be a legend in Indian cricket.Sourav tendered his resignation from international cricket well in time, otherwise,he would have been more humiliated. Of course, we wish we could see him continue to play till now like Sachin and Rahul.Perhaps, those floating viewers who remained glued to TV sets to see Sourav play international crickets have lost interest in crickets.

Unquotable quotes(jokes)!

(1)Learn to earn!
Normally, the more you learn, the less you earn. So learn how to earn!

(2)Honesty!
Honesty’s the last resort of those who can’t afford to be dishonest!

(3)Honesty again!
Honesty’s the beast’s policy. It’s rare among humans!

(4)Reading habit!
Reading is one of the bad habits man has ever had!
It influences your thoughts,tempts you to copy one's ideas
and ultimately strips you of your originality!
,


(5)Moral values!
To maintain a high standard of living one’s to maintain a
standard of leaving some moral values!


(6)Man’s mortal!
Happily, man’s mortal! Had it been otherwise, world would have
been a terribly bad place to live in!


(7)Choice of parents!
To avoid genetically transmitted diseases chose your parents
before your birth!

Camouflage!

A private Bengali TV channel(Tara newz) held unusually long discussion today on Chief minister Buddhadev Bhattacharyya’s 'mental depression' ,though there's no official information to this effect. The Channel seemed to be too much concerned about CM but panelists it invited for discussion betrayed the actual purpose of the programme.The main aim of the discussion was to lash out at LF govt,particularly CPM and CM's mental state was only a ploy! What's more, there was no one from ruling party participating in the discussion. Such discourses are apt to be partisan and in fact, they were. Most of the regional electronic media behave like party mouth pieces and lost their credibility as news channels to those who like to have unbiased presentation and interpretation of news items. It’s really unfortunate!

Smile(jokes)!

(1)Hypothetical!
A:He fell from a very high-rise building.He took as many as three days to reach the ground and died during fall.Can you say why he died?
B:Very simple!He died out of fear.
A:No.He died because of lack of food and water!

(2)Shopping phobia!
Employee:Boss,tomorrow I shall take a day off.
Boss:Why?
Employee:I'm to accompany my wife for puja shopping.
Boss:Sorry,I can't spare you tomorrow.
Employee:Boss,you're ever kind to me!

(3)Post-marital!
Finding a mouse at his marriage party the tiger roared,
'Being a mouse how dare you come here?'.
'I was a tiger too before my marriage',snapped back mouse.

(4)Queen's English!
Father:My son, you've twice failed in English.Try hard this time!
Son:Dad,don't worry.I must hardly try this time.

Abnormal price -hike!

Perhaps we people've been more tolerant than before. Now big issues fail to stir us. To be precise, sky rocketing prices of essential commodities have affected us in a big way but we seem to have got accustomed to it! We grudge and grumble but hardly think of reacting vehemently to this abnormal price hike. Those working in public sector are a fortunate lot who can cope with this adverse situation, at least partially, by their occasional rise in dearness allowances. But think of vast majority of people who work in unorganized sector! It's difficult to imagine how they make both ends meet.Perhaps, they’ve resigned to fate and think what's lotted can't be blotted. Political parties, on the other hand, hardly consider it an issue to protest against. They’ve their own stakes to give priorities to.West Bengal Government’s stray and half hearted efforts to give relief to people have obviously failed to yield satisfactory results.See, what more is in store for us in days to come!

Laughing-stock(jokes)!

(1)
Coverage!
A: See, of late, this news paper has decreased it's coverage but increased it's price.
B:I don't think so.
A: Earlier with a day's paper I could cover all the shelves of my almirah but now I can't
(2)
Manhole!
A: How is your sister?
B: Awfully bad! She's fallen into a manhole.
A: What? Is she still there?
B: Yes,I mean she's fallen in love with a very bad guy!
(3)
Capitation fees!
Guardian: Sir, how much capitation fees am I to pay for admission of my child?
Headmaster: Rs.30, 000.0 only.
Guardian: Sir, it's too high, why don't you call it decapitation fees?
(4)
Marriage registration!
Sardarji was minutely reading his marriage registration certificate.’ What are you looking for in the certificate?’, asked his wife.’ Expiry date, my darling’, replied Sardarji.
(5)
Bookshelf!
'Can't you have a bookshelf?’, asked a man pointing at the books lying scattered on the floor in Mark Twain's room.
'I can't have the bookshelf the way I've had the books’, quipped Twain.

Freedom of expression

Freedom of speech is our fundamental right and any attempt to infringe it is looked upon as unconstitutional, undemocratic, and uncivilized act. On many a occasion judiciary has come forward to protect this right as Supreme court has very recently done by lifting ban on Jaswant Singh's book on Jinnha, for which he was expelled from BJP.Ban on the book was imposed by Gujarat government primarily alleging that Sarder Patel, the most revered personality of the state, was shown in poor light in the book. Supreme Court’s verdict is a fitting reply to Modi Government’s autocratic attempt to gag the voice of democracy.However, it should be noted freedom of expression does not necessarily empowers an individual to write or say anything he likes. If his utterances or writings are detrimental to our society or pose threat to our social unity, government must rein in such activities. But this threat perception is relative and in many cases triggers controversies. Happily, court verdicts in most of the fundamental right cases are acceptable to the sensible and well meaning section of the society.

It's life(jokes)!

(1)Philosophical!
"Come in or you'll fall down”, said a passenger to a drunk traveling on the foot board of a speeding bus.” Do you know me?”, enquired the man.” What on earth makes you think I'd know a man like you”, retorted the infuriated passenger.” Then how do you say it's I who might fall down”, calmly asked the man.
(2)Aiding the ad!
A: See, only after a single wash my shirt's faded!
B:You must have washed it with some 'colour-guard' detergent.
A:Yes.
B:Then your shirt's not actually faded, its original colour stands 'guarded' after wash!
(3)Humorous!
Doctor: Try to be always in good humour.
Patient: Doc, it’s a good humour, in deed!
(4)Image!
A:He has a clean image, but in reality he's a very dirty guy!
B:No wonder, inverted image is the real image!
(5)Leg-pull!
A: You’re the most intelligent man I've ever seen!
B: No.You’re more intelligent than me.
A: Why?
B: Because you've assessed my intelligence!
(6)Keeping Company!
A:A man's known by the company he keeps.
B:Yes, of course!
A: What do you think about woman?
B:A woman's known by the company she keeps away from.

Last nail in the coffin!

It's the worst of time for Bengal. Developmental work's come to a halt. One project after another fail to take off. Global meltdown has added fuel to fire. Who knew Singur would be the beginning of an end of industrialization in the state? Few could ever guess even in the wildest imagination that a near complete automobile factory that could boast of offering the cheapest-ever car to the world would never see the light of the day. Now come the unkindest cut of all- the death knell of IT hubs that could give employments to thousands of youths in our state. It’s no use delving into blame game. Nor it's useful to single out who deprived our state of what it could be. It would only add to bitterness and bickering. Let us pray this bad patch of time would soon blow over and good sense would dawn on all concerned in the interest of the state.

Marriage(jokes)!

(1)
Carried in the carriage of courage he tried to get married. But his marriage remained a mirage for good.However; they said it was for his good! Who are they?
(2)
A: Why have you not still married?
B: Because I've decided to take no dowry or gift in marriage.
A: Nonsense! It’s no problem at all. Marry without dowry or gift.
B: But I'm a Hindu.
A: So what?
B: In Hindu marriage bride's gifted to groom.
(3)
A: How long will you sail in your bachelorship?
B: Still it's not wrecked on a permanent wave!
(4)
Wife: At the time of our marriage you looked so handsome! Beside you I looked quite ordinary!
Husband: As love's blind, I couldn't notice it!
(5)
Q. If love's blind and marriage's an eye opener, then what's extramarital love?
Ans. Partial blindness!
(6)
Wife: If somebody abducts me in your presnce, what’ll you do?
Husband: Simply nothing!
Wife: Why?
Husband: Because abductor would soon realise what mistake he's done and return you to me!

Reddy's death!

YS Rajsekhara Reddy, chief minister of Andhra Pradesh, was killed in chopper crash. His death is most unfortunate and a great loss to the people of his state and to Congress party as well. Admittedly, such chopper or plane crashes might take place despite taking all precautionary measures. But what about those who, unable to bear the shock of Reddy's death, committed suicide or died of heart attack? These people are too emotional and they’re more guided by impulse than by rationale. Their deaths are perhaps more unfortunate and pathetic than Reddy’s.Incidentally,when Tamil Nadu chief minister MG Ramachandran died, though it was a natural death after protracted illness, there was a suicide galore too. South Indians seem to be more prone to such impulsive acts than others. However, very recently, when transport minister Subhas Chakraborty died in Bengal, there was a sea of humanity following his hearse and many common people were found to weep inconsolably, so was his popularity. But no case of suicide or heart attack was reported though Bengalis are said to be emotional by nature.Perhaps, Bengalis are more rational than emotional. Now it’s the task of the psychologists to explain why this ethnic difference in human reaction to tragic incidents is!

Political(jokes)!

Poll-vault!
Journalist: Have you filled in your nomination form in the coming poll?
Leader: Yes, of course!
Journalist: From which party are you contesting?
Leader: Excuse me, I can’t exactly remember it. Better ask my PA.

Once in a blue moon!
Voter: You’re asking for vote, but in last five years I’ve not seen you once!
Candidate: What can I do if government lasts so long?

Sitting MP!
Dad: Don’t you know he’s a sitting MP?
Son: Yes dad, he’s never been seen to stand up to say any thing in parliament!

Last resort!
Son: They say politics is the last resort of the scoundrels!
Dad: Entirely wrong, my son.
Son: Why dad?
Dad: Scoundrels are not that fool to make politics the last resort. They make it the first resort!

Promising!
Son:Dad,he’s becoming a promising politician..
Dad:Certainly,he’s started promising people to do many things which he’d never do!

Land deal

Little did Thakur Ramkrishna know when he said,’ Taka mati,mati taka(money’s soil, soil’s money)to convey his nonchalant attitude to money that it would mean to many ‘money’s land, land’s money’. This mundane concept breeds dishonest practices almost every where. Most of the land deals, particularly on large scale, invariably involve corruption. Now free and fare land deal is an unheard-of phenomenon. But you can’t avoid procurement of land for developmental purposes. If entire business is left to private hands, malpractices multiply manifold. That doesn’t necessarily mean land deal handled by government is free from corruption. Any way, land episode at Vedic village or Rajarhat that’s kicked off a row is only tip of the iceberg!

In lighter vein(jokes)!

(1)
Teacher: Why do you keep standing?
Student:Sir,seated I can’t follow what you say. All goes over my head.
Teacher:Well,then stand up on the bench to follow me better!
(2)
Patient:Doc, whenever I go to sleep, I’m awakened by bad dreams!
Doctor: In the first place try not to dream. If you fail, try not to sleep!
(3)
A:To avoid infection, I keep my brush, razor and a small mirror dipped in dettol water.
B:But why mirror?
A:Simple,to avoid getting my image tarnished!
(4)
Teacher: Prize your character high because character once lost is lost for ever!
Student:Sir,don’t be afraid, only those with loose character are prone to losing it.
(5
He tried to bell the CAT, but failed. He couldn’t connect NET either. Nor could he
crash GATE.He’s left with a clean SLET.He’s in such a sorry state!
(6)
True, failures are the pillar of success. The biggest failure is the inability to foresee
how many failures will make the pillar
! (7)
Many who used to sit in the last benches in their school and college days, now sit in their
own Mercedes Benzes.
(8)
A: Do bull work to get rid of your excess fat.
B:But what’s bull work?
A: It’s simple! Tease a street bull, let it chase you for some time and that’s all.
(9)
Buyer: This 3 rd floor flat without lift facility would pose a problem at my old age!
Promoter: Don’t worry,sir.By the time you get old, ground floor will go under ground!
(10)
A: I’m too busy to attend to my phone calls.
B:Then have a call girl.
A: What nonsense! A call girl?
B:Yes, a call girl who’ll take and make calls for you.